Can I Sell You My New Wonder Drug?

by | Jul 25, 2014 | Humor, Reflection

I can’t leave this topic alone. Have I got something to sell you!

I want to promote my new wonder drug on Dr. Oz.

Always said that placebos worked. Wish I could bottle that stuff.

Do you know what an “indication” is?

It means that a drug company is allowed by law to say that their drug works for whatever it’s supposed to work for. It means that in clinical trials for developing drugs they (the pharma companies) have shown favorable test results for their new product.  Achieving that “indication” means that the pharma boys have grasped the brass (or platinum?) ring and that the FDA has officially recognized that such and such a drug creates such and such a result. Who knew?

In medical parlance the level of proof is called “statistically significant results.”

And did you know that the pharmas always test their drug against a powerful competitor?


That competitor is…. “Placebo”. A drug that works every time… for everything.  No kidding.

Placebo always has the desired effect. Well, mostly. And that hopeful new product just has to beat Placebo by that “statistically significant” margin in clinical trials in order to get the nod. When all is said and done, the margin is not that impressive. The bar is not set that high.

So I figure I’m going to get in on the action and market my new “Pill-that-works-for-everything-most-of-the-time”.

Just need to come up with a name:

my new wonder drug placeboPlacebocillin. Nope. Too obvious.

Falsidine… Ummm, No.




I’m gonna be rich.

Just thought of a new one seven months later (Feb 2015)


The list is endless!!!